Two Years

So today I have two years clean...it's been a pretty amazing journey. I'm still dealing with issues that existed before and during my active addiction, and lately that has been consuming me. I have an eating disorder, and thought I do not act on it today, that is, I'm not technically anorexic or bulimic anymore, the state of mind comes and goes. I have been doing things lately that are not conducive to recover: searching pro-ana sites, reading books that are only about the disease and not about recovery. I guess there is some part of me that still wants to be in the world of eating disorders, there's a part of me that wants to remain sick.

However, in the last two years I fought a battle against heroin, alcohol, and any other drug you can imagine, and won. I have a steady job, I am a student, and I have real relationships with people who love me, including my family. My life is much better than it was two years ago and it has been an unforgettable journey. I do things for other people, like go the local jail and speak with the women about recovery, I help out newcomers to the 12 step program I belong to, and it all feels really good. I also have a dog with whom I am obsessed and adore with every fiber of my being.

I am not sure why I am blogging about any of this, and I'm pretty sure no one is ever going to read it, but here it is. It's out there for whatever its worth.

I guess I am here to be honest.